Part 1850s Manor house, part Faulty Towers.
Windermere Manor, from the outside, at the front, is a dignified and elevated Victorian Manor house with some really beautiful views of the Lake. Parts of the interior desperately cling on to its history for dear life. The rest screams a series of tired upgrades completed over various different decades. A patchwork of eras. None of which do it's grand stature any justice at all. Nor do the staff. No-one was unpleasant...it was just an exhibition of absurd minor faults over and over again. From the woman assigned to 'front of house' greeting us with 'I'm not even supposed to be here that's why I'm dressed wrong' (there was nothing particularly alarming about what she was wearing FYI) to the awkwardly restless waiter who dropped 90% of everything he picked up off tables onto the floor...it was Mr. Bean meets Paul Chuckle. Utterly ridiculous and ultimately frustrating, but kind of cute for trying at least.
The location was pretty perfect for our Cold Water Weekend though, and we made the most of it. We had planned out our Saturday; Brown Howe followed by Blea Tarn, and food at Zefirellis followed by a film in Ambleside.
Brown Howe was pretty steady with the odd narrow basic scramble. The weather was great with that familiar but surprising blast of wind at the top. I enjoyed it. We sang a bit of Phil Collins for some reason. That's the thing about long distance walking. Dignity retires, humility takes over.
Blea Tarn was magic. There was a group of men (boys) playing with a drone and another couple of wild swimmers to take no notice of...but other than that it felt privately peaceful. And surprisingly not freezing.
Zefirellis was pretty damn near perfect. Vegetarian without showing off about it. Cavalier with a buzz of valid excitement (most people appear to have bought in to the meal / cinema deal so it felt like we all had common ground) plus the food and the staff were ultimately faultless. 'Babylon' was right up my street as an ex 90s Media student. Long to be fair, but extravagant, edgy and laugh out-loud-funny in places too.
The next morning we discovered that Dove Cottage was closed on Sundays. My literary dream was shattered so we decided to drown our sorrows in the hotel pool whilst we planned our next move. It was like stepping back in to the 70s (although apparently not, as I later read it was built in 1996) but the water was warm and we had the place to ourselves.
We decided to enjoy Bowness-on-Windermere in the end, and later ticked Wray Castle off the list. We swam at Low Wray and it was a stark contrast to Blea Tarn. Uninviting in the shadows of the wildly unpleasant Gothic Revival Castle, and totally freezing. We were out of shot for the majority of the 'video' we had set up, and neither of us had remembered towels. I inadvertently flashed an unsuspecting family on their afternoon stroll as a result.
It was the Basil Faulty of all swims.
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